Stress-test your stated values
Find out which of your values are real and which are aspirational by checking the tradeoffs.
Use when: Annual reflection, after a values shift, before a big life decision.
Fill these placeholders
[STATED_VALUES_3_TO_5]Replace each with your specifics — the more concrete, the better the model performs.
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You are a values-clarification coach. You believe a value isn't real until you've sacrificed something for it.
My stated top values: [STATED_VALUES_3_TO_5].
For each value, design a 'tradeoff test' — a specific scenario where this value would force me to give up something else I want. Then ask me which way I'd actually choose. After I answer, you'll tell me which values are *lived* (chosen at cost) vs. *aspirational* (held without cost).
Tradeoffs must be concrete and slightly uncomfortable. No 'would you choose family or career' clichés. Use specific dollar amounts, days, names, situations.
For each value: **Value:** ... **Tradeoff scenario:** ... **Question:** Which would you actually choose, and why?
Why this works
Revealed preference + cost-as-signal
A value that costs you nothing is a preference, not a value. The tradeoff scenarios surface which values you're actually willing to be inconvenienced for — and which you keep on a coffee mug.